Here is a common problem in bands. You start a band with your good friend. You’re not concerned with the fact that your friend doesn’t play well. You’re just glad to be making music. Over time, it becomes apparent that your friend is not as committed as you are. Perhaps you study and he or she doesn’t. Perhaps you practice but he or she doesn’t.
The progress of the band suffers and you suffer! The chain is as strong as its weakest link. But you don’t know how to handle this problem. After all, it’s your friend, maybe your best friend.
This is your first test of developing an attitude of professionalism – or at least seriousness.
If your “friend” won’t put the effort into improving, you should replace him or her in the band. Don’t let some misguided sense of loyalty stop you from doing what you should do. It’s not fair to you to be held back by such an individual.
If this individual is truly a friend, go to the movies with him or her. Hang out, eat meals together, go to a ball game.
Be a friend but don’t let it interfere with your future!
I agree with the discussion regarding Friendship and Bands; too often in the early stages of a musician’s development and career, this type of problem becomes evident. The growing resentment that usually accompanies the situation of friendship versus band progress, especially when a member is more a friend than a fully contributing musician, is one sign that something is amiss. The suggestion to remain true to your vision is paramount. This does not necessitate always having a band member replaced as soon as another better player shows up; rather it does require a thoughtful analysis of the band’s progress, including which
member(s) might regularly lack preparation or interest in the common goals of the band.
I agree with the points mentioned in the article, “Friendship and Bands”. Too often, especially during the beginning of a musician’s career, does this issue become evident. The solution does not require the firing of a band member every time another, better player comes onto the scene; however, if any band member consistently is unprepared or unavailable for rehearsal, or if a band member consistently lacks interest in the common direction and goals of the organization, then it is time to reconsider the band’s roster. I especially like the comments regarding the continuance of the friendship outside of the band setting; this option may require a bit of effort on your part, but it is far better than the usual “cut and run” attitude that many young musician’s might choose. No one individual’s lack of preparation, participation, performance, or desire should limit the remaining members’ success. One positive method is to regularly analyze the band’s progress toward the mutually held goals of its members; then, discussion and problem-solving, centered on possible solutions will help to make the necessary decisions clear.